Morphine & Cupcakes

I think I have a Scentsy addiction, folks. It's getting bad. I'll just let y'all be the judge of it...

(The iPhone takes bad pictures)

That's all of them plus one that was hiding on my bed and I've already ordered more, lol. I'm so addicted! I need Scentsy Anonymous. Hi, I'm Sarah and I'm a Scentsy addict! *Is shamed*

And now meet Lambchops, my Scentsy Buddy...

(Digital camera picture, much better)

He smells like sugar cookies because he has a scent bag inside of him that I can change out to any scent I want later on. Cool, huh?! lol. He sleeps with me every single night. Nothing like breathing in the smell of sugar cookies as you sleep. Mmmm.

Oh! Jealousy says, "Hello". She has her sleepy eyes goin' on in this picture.

Time for a Morphine shot...

There is something I need to get off my chest before I blow and this is MY blog so I’m just going to let it out. We all die. That’s the circle of life. We are born, we live and then we die when God says it’s our time to go. Yes, I’m dying. I am and there is nothing anyone or I can do to stop it. When I started telling people I was on Hospice and what was happening to my body I noticed that some of my very close friends and even family members disappeared from my life for a little bit until I confronted them. They realized how it was making me feel and how they felt and we talked it all through.

Well, it’s still happening with a few of my close friends (yes friend(S), not just one of you, so don’t think I’m singling one of you out because I’m honestly not) and it tears me up inside. I’ve cried many days and nights over this. I know it’s hard to lose someone, to realize that person that you depended on for so long for friendship and comfort is leaving you. But what about me and how I feel?! I don’t want to leave you guys!! I don’t want to miss out on your lives!

To have some of my closest friends distance themselves because they can’t handle me dying. Guess what? I CAN’T STOP IT!!! I wish I could, I SO wish I could in a heartbeat but I can’t and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But to those close friends out there I’m talking to… I need you! I miss you! I miss some of you more than you’ll ever know and I need you now more than ever.

I don’t want to lose time with anyone. I know everyone in my life has lives. You all have families, jobs, school and an outside social life. And I definitely know a lot of you are really busy, I know this and I don’t expect your attention 24/7. Your families and jobs come first, that’s a given. I understand that 100%. All I ask for is a little more closeness like we had. An occasional text message saying, “Hey! I’m thinking about you! Hope you’re doing well.”, “Guess what?! I just saw a duck chase a dog!” or “Hey! How are you? I love you/I miss you.”, or a quick phone call to just laugh or talk about the things going on in YOUR life, because quite honestly I hate talking about me and my life. It’s boring, trust me. I want know about you and laugh over silly things or talk about Lady Gaga’s latest outfit or gossip about the people in our lives (we all gossip, don’t deny it)! ANYTHING!!! Just don’t keep me away forever. I don’t want my last conversation with some of you to be when they tell me I have a month or one or two weeks left. I want to go with memories of good times and conversations with you guys. I love each and every one of you so much but it’s getting so hard dealing with this alone without some of you.

Well, I'm off to go take meds, lay down and watch Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice!

Love and Blessings to you all! <3